Xavier… A Love Story

Born     15^th December 2007 5:56am

Royal Women’s Hospital

Family Birth Centre 

At about 1 pm, Friday 15^th December, we decided that with contractions at 5 minutes apart and lasting 1 minute we would go in to hospital.  I was anxious because the Family Birth Centre was full and I was waiting for them to clear a room or else I would need to labour in a normal ward. 

They cleared a room (the nicest one they have!) and admitted me at 2pm.  I was examined by midwife Stephanie who said I was 2 cm dilated and should go home and wait. 

I didn’t want to as I was worried about getting back to hospital on time (especially in Friday night traffic!).  Arcris and I instead went to ‘Mark’s Place’ restaurant for pizza.  When I was there I was 3 minutes apart.  It was all I could do to cling to my phone to time contractions and to the TENS machine which was sending electric currents through my spine to block the pain. 

We went back to hospital and timed contractions while trying to decide what to do (go home or stay).  By 4 pm I was pacing a corridor and contractions were 3 minutes apart with more bloody show. 

At last!  Established labour.  The FBC still had my room available so Arcris went back to get the bags (again!) and we settled in to labour. Throughout labour I used combinations of the TENS machine, walking, stamping, breathing and the fit ball to cope with the pains.  But the most effective and consistent method was to hold Arcris tight and grind my head into his chest.  I needed him with me through each pain and he was the best support person I could imagine.  Arcris encouraged and supported me through the most amazing experience of my life.  By about 10pm I was really grunting through each contraction and they were 1 minute apart.   

Mum, who had been coming and going from the room since about 5pm when she arrived, said she would leave us to it now as she thought pushing would be soon.  I had emptied my stomach and they said throwing up meant it would be really soon. 

However… when they measured me at 11pm I was still only 6cm dilated.  I felt so defeated.  The hour from 11pm to 12pm was the longest of the labour.  Before and after that hour, time flew, but that hour stretched on forever! 

The midwives had been monitoring me (pulse and blood pressure) and baby (heartbeat) every 15 minutes and were reassured that everything was going well.  They helped to make it a nice environment by waiting until a contraction was over before quietly going saying they were going to monitor us.  They also had dim lighting (so dim, they had to use a torch at the ‘business end’ when the time came) and music of our choice was playing and the smell of lavender and clarry sage was burning I the background.  I was so intent on holding Arcris and stomping that at one point each contraction was like a dance to the beat of the music. 

At midnight when I was getting a bit exasperated, the midwife (Maggie who later delivered him) suggested a bath.  She ran me some deep, warm bath water and I was told to try and relax between contractions.  I was anxious because it meant taking the TENS machine off and I had been clinging to it before then.   

However, a bath was just what I needed.  I got so relaxed that I managed to fall asleep quite a few times for just a minute between contractions.  When the contractions came, I breathed through them and wiggled my toes madly.  After over an hour in the bath, I felt the pressure to push.  It wasn’t overwhelming but I still was nervous to stay in the bath so we got out. 

Alas, the midwife told me not to push as I was only 8cm dilated.  The next couple of hours were spent going through the same stomping, bouncing, walking motions as I did earlier.  It turned out the pressure I felt earlier in the bath was just bowel movement, so once I cleared that (baby pressed it all down as he descended) I really got an urge to push.   

At last!  At about 4am I was told I was fully (10cm) dilated and was really able to push.   

The pushing part was a different pain; it was pain that I could do something about.  I pushed ineffectively for about half an hour and then the midwife made me practise calming my breathing between contractions because I was wasting energy breathing fast in between pushes.  That helped me relax and push during contractions.  Even though I was far away from crowning I kept getting a bit nervous and held back on pushing for a while. 

Eventually, I relaxed and pushed and the midwife could feel his head.  After another half hour even Arcris was able to see his head while I pushed.  They kept telling me that they could see a mass of black hair.  As time progressed, the amount of head they could see during each push increased, 1cm, 2cm, getting there! 

During some pushes I could feel myself holding back scared that he would just burst through and rip me open!  But other pushes I was able to concentrate, pull my legs back, chin on chest and push (I could eve push to a certain point that the midwife was poking). 

After much progress (mixed with some ‘oops, he slipped back’ moments) 2 hours of pushing meant his head had fully emerged!  At that point, I had not torn and was very relieved.  However, I was told later that the cord had been around his neck.  So, just as his head was out, the midwife had to tell me to stop pushing (which was hard to do!).  I thought it was just to avoid tearing, but it was so she could unloop the cord from his neck.  She also had to twist his body from the shoulders so she could do it – pop – there I tore!  A second degree tear, due to an unexpected twist. 

Before I knew it, our boy was out.  Arcris helped pull him out (deliver the shoulders and body) and then they threw him on my chest.  I was amazed!  I couldn’t believe the size of him (3.968kg or roughly 9lbs) and couldn’t believe that this was the baby I had carried for 9 months – I could finally meet him! 

Arcris and I laughed and cried and exclaimed over bits and pieces of him ‘oh, it has your nose’, ‘so much hair!’ Then we realised we didn’t know if it was a boy or a girl.  I peeked below his towel and exclaimed ‘It’s a boy!’  Arcris never looked so proud!  He rushed out to anxious Mum, Emma, Albert, Jess, Clare and Daniel to tell them.  He still loves to remember the looks on their faces as he told them.  Pure joy!  We had decided on his name and looked at each other when asked what his name was to be and said ‘Xavier Arcris Galang’.